So I wasn't going to be doing any blogging this month, on account of the PAIN, OH GOD, THE PAIN!!! But I'm weak-willed and full of fascinating insights that people need to hear.

Seriously though, I went back to the doctor yesterday about my RSI because, frankly, when you struggle to lift a pot of coffee without dropping it all over the kitchen floor and flooding the place and stinking of coffee for the rest of the day because you had to get down on your hands and knees to mop it all up with tissues things have gone too far. Sadly there's really nothing the doctor can do except recommend I take painkillers and wait for the physio.

This all means I'm not officially doing Nano, but I have set myself some reasonably achievable goals for November which I can probably do without crippling myself. 1) Finish a short story to submit to a gay werewolf anthology at the end of the month and 2) Finish the first draft of Death for the Born. I reckon that's about 30 - 40k anyway. Then I'm going to take December off entirely and do no writing whatsoever, and start the new version of Fire and Moonlight in the New Year.

As illustrated by Dr Zoidberg.

I've changed my mind about Nano several times this weekend. First I changed my mind about doing it at all. Then I decided I would do it. Then I decided I wouldn't do
Slow Burn, I would do some steampunk-esque YA instead. Then I decided to do Slow Burn after all, and then I decided not to do anything because my wrist hurt from all the flip-flopping.

Now I've decided to do it. But I'm thinking I won't be doing Slow Burn. Here's the thing: I really want to be a published author. It's pretty much all I have in the way of ambition (except owning a donkey) and in order to achieve that, I need to focus more. I currently have three novels, all of which I think have a decent chance of selling with a bit of work, and I'm focusing on just them for a while. Which means Nano will be dedicated either to A) re-writing Fire and Moonlight or Wild or B) finishing off Death for the Born. I really don't see DftB being another 50k long, so option A is most likely.

Sigh. Watch this space as I frantically change my mind again and again for the next two weeks.

Adding to my crisis is the fact that I overslept by almost two hours this morning and haven't had a shower or anything to eat.

So, if you were me and you were undecided about  what to write for Nano this year, would you pick:

A) A rewrite of Fire and Moonlight, the novel that netted me my agent but has thus far failed to sell.

B) Slow Burn, a futuristic-ish tale of professional cat burglar-turned reluctant industrial espionager featuring poison, hookers, psychic mutants and abnormal genetics

or

C) Weird Kids which I can best describe as Girl, Interrupted meets HP Lovecraft featuring 24 Hour Party People.

ETA: Mutant catfish!

I can't help but worry that taking part in Nanowrimo is a bad idea when my RSI is currently at that "OHGODTHEPAIN!" stage most of the time. The rest of the time it's just the "why does my wrist keep clicking and why are my fingers numb?" stage. Trying to write 50k in 30 days seems a foolish idea, all things considered. I am on the NHS waiting list for physiotherapy, but judging from past experience, it would probably be quicker to chop my arm off and replace it with a hand-crafted wooden limb than it would be to get the NHS to do anything about it. Sadly carpentry is not amongst my talents.

However! I am determined to give it a shot. I have my wrist brace. I have a steady supply of painkillers. Most importantly, I have a reward of tasty, tasty sushi to look forward to. We shall see...