One Hot Mess

Back to reality

2009-07-15T10:38:08Z

Later in the week I will do a full round-up of the RNA conference. After I've figured out how to permanently fix my bed and after I've figured out how much damage I did my mobile broadband dongle by dumping a cup of hi-juice on it. For now, the highlights:

1. Spending time with the lovely and talented madlee276, and catching up on how amazingly well she's doing (can't wait to go stay with her in August!).

2. Meeting loads of new writers at all stages of their careers, which was truly motivational.

3. Catching up with people I met last year, like Kate Johnson and Imogen Howson.

4. Packing away about a year's worth of wine. Still feeling slightly soused, actually.

5. Getting so many freebies! Seriously, my bookcases are now overflowing even more than they were before I left, which is saying something.

6. Being invited to Texas by Jodi Thomas, who is incredibly funny, by the way. I really hope Leanne and I can sort something out so we can go.

It was all over far too quickly, and before I knew it, I was home again. The fish either instantly forgave me for leaving them or didn't notice I was gone; I'm not sure which.

I have to be honest, getting home again was a bit of a let-down since it was straight back to work yesterday. I'm seriously debating right now how much longer I want to go on working in an office and stealing time for writing around that. I have my annual review with the Director next Monday and one of things we're discussing is my "career progression." I feel like it might be rude to tell him I never intended to stay at the Institute this long and that I'm desperately seeking an escape route as we speak. Is there an elegant way to slide "paid sabbatical" into the conversation? I plan to find out.

Oh, and since I'm still finding lovely reviews for Wolf Strap here and there - here's another one:

“Wolf Strap” by Naomi Clark: This is part traditional horror, part hard-boiled noire, except the investigation here isn’t done by Philip Marlowe, but by punky, tough little werewolf Ayla and her lover Shannon. Fast-paced and tightly packed, the success of this story is in its completeness – a fully realized alternate world, fully realized characters and an exciting story brought to its full conclusion before the end. Well done. - Whipped Cream

Look what I got in the post today!

2009-07-08T12:44:44Z

Why yes, that is my contract for SILVER KISS, along with a bunch of goodies that I shall be taking to the RNA conference tomorrow ^-^

Things about Urban Fantasy that Irritate Me

2009-07-06T15:39:32Z

Since I've been mildly irritated ever since the hobo stole my Malibu, I may as well unburden myself here and get it out of system. And, caveat - of course I love urban fantasy. It's my genre, what I write, what I read, what I adore. So this is all light-hearted. So:

1. Men's names that are short-hand for "I'm a dark and sexy mysterious type with possible angst." - There are an awful lot of Dantes*, particularly. LKH is guilty of bringing us Wicked, Truth, and London, amongst others.

2. Spelling words with "i" instead of "y" to indicate Mysticism - actually this is true of swords and sorcery fantasy too, but every time I see "wyne" instead of "wine" or "myst" instead of "mist", or indeed "vampyre" instead of "vampire" I die a little inside.

3. Women's names that are deliberately spelled exoticly as short-hand for "I'm a free-spirited kook but I'm not above being a total bitch but nobody will hold it against me". I'm looking at you, Zoey Redbird.

4. Monsters that are just people with fangs. Come on, people! Let's see someone get their throat ripped out! Is it so much to ask that just one vampire isn't saved by the Power of Love?

*And I myself am guilty of this as I have a Durante in Death for the Born, which is of course where the nickname Dante comes from. And yes, he certainly is a dark and sexy mysterious type with possible angst.

Short story news and first line meme

2009-07-03T07:44:40Z

So, first of all I'm excited to announce that my short story Burned will be appearing in this month's Ethereal Tales. Yay! I love short story writing, so I'm always pleased when I actually get something published, and I'm especially pleased in this case because it's a Scarlett story. Scarlett and her gang of werewolves, necromancers, lost gods, and pyschics being my first writing love and all that.

Anyway, I've seen this on a few people's blogs, but kazdreamer is encouraging everyone to do it, so here we are.

'I wish you were coming with me tonight.' - SILVER KISS (which is rolling along nicely, thanks!)

A fire storm was brewing. - Wonderland (which has stalled because I'm too lazy to work on the much-needed worldbuildling).

She ran through the forest, the metallic tang of blood in her nostrils - Wild (which one day I will finish rewriting because I love it, damn you).

The vampire slunk through the dead leaves and damp earth, a parody of the woman it had been in life - Death for the Born (don't really have any witty comments for this one).

Take that, universe!

2009-07-02T20:24:48Z

SILVER KISS progress:

26525 / 60000 words. 44% done!

I wrote 3k tonight! And all I needed was enchiladas and cake to do it.

Creature Feature!

2009-06-30T20:06:58Z

Look what Amazon recommended me! I totally want this boxset. I need it. I need these films. I mean! Octopus 1 and 2?! Why do I not already own this?!

In actual news, I've been working on the Super Sneaky Secret Side Project tonight. Not added much because my arm is sore, but I'm happy with the progress I have made.

6039 / 15000 words. 40% done!

I can't wait for my week off next week when I can really crack on with this and SILVER KISS for a few sweet, uninterrupted days. Just have to slog through a few more work days first...

SILVER KISS - more real, actual progress

2009-06-30T08:28:37Z

23009 / 60000 words. 38% done!

I'm thinking my initial 60k estimate may have been a little conservative as I certainly don't feel like I'm nearly half way through the story. More like a quarter. 2k added last night. Here's the score so far:

Stuff Going Down

1. Ayla found a runaway teen werewolf unconscious in the woods.
2. Naomi made a bad Sudoko metaphor.

Background Stuff

Futurama season 2 and chaostheory 's thoughts on Richard Nixon.

Foodstuffs

Cadbury's chocolate ice cream with Cadbury's chocolate chunks!

Reptilian shapeshifters

2009-06-29T18:56:28Z

You don't see too many of them in Urban Fantasy, do you? I mean, not as good guys anyway. I know LKH has had weresnakes and nagas in the Anita Blake books, but I can't think of any besides that. I blame David Icke and his reptilian overlord conspiracy theories (although he may have a point about Tony Blair).

I've seen a developing trend for avian shapeshifters, and I've read a couple of books featuring weredolphins, but reptiles seem to be ignored, or relegated to bad guys. Is that because reptiles are inherently creepy? Too cold-blooded and scaly to be suitable hero material?

Well, screw you guys. I'm going to write a story with a weresnake in it! And blackjack! And hookers! No, wait, not the last two.

Thank you all! :)

2009-06-28T20:48:07Z

Massive thanks to everyone for the congratulations on SILVER KISS! *mwah* to all of you :)

I just got home from Norfolk - had been to see my grandparents in their soon-to-be-sold house by the sea, which I always love. Next time I move house, it's got to be to live by the ocean. It's been kind of a long day, so now I'm lazing around watching Futurama and wishing it wasn't already Monday tomorrow. We've got another workshop starting tomorrow, and a new programme (which by all accounts will be attended solely by insane biologists), so it's going to be another long day. And hot. It will probably result in ice cream after work, which nobody wants. Well, except me.

News! News! News!

2009-06-27T09:36:27Z

Okay, so we all know I had a short story published in QueeredFiction's Queer Wolf anthology, right?

And we all know Wolf Strap has been getting some pretty good reviews, right?

And we all know I've been working on a novel-length follow-up to Wolf Strap called Silver Kiss, right?

Well, I am thrilled (and a little bit nervous) to announce that SILVER KISS HAS BEEN CONTRACTED BY QUEEREDFICTION! Which means I'm going to have a novel published! A whole, full, genuine novel all by myself etc!

Details are tentative at this point, but we're hoping SILVER KISS (yes, I will henceforth capitalise it all the time, sorry) will be released in early 2010.

This is by far the most exciting thing that has happened to me since I started writing, and I'm over the moon to have the opportunity to do this. So, virtual party at my place! Bring cocktails!

Another Friday is upon us

2009-06-26T08:25:49Z

And I'm out to celebrate tonight! j_rah has finally got herself a real grown-up job so we're off to toast to her victory with cocktails and Mexican food. Huzzahs! We'll also be toasting to my good news, which I will share as soon as I can. I've recovered from yesterday's mope-fest and I'm looking forward to a peaceful weekend of writing and visiting my grandparents. Can't ask for more than that.

ETA: Just stumbled across another review forQueer Wolf here at Collective Fallout. Once again, there's praise for Wolf Strap!:

"“Wolf Strap” pulls you in fast and hard ... Both mystery and horror, this story tells of the struggle between pack and humankind–and of what some men will do to even the playing field with the perceived wolf threat. Clark gives us characters that we can understand in a world that we cannot."

Yay!

Naomi indulges in displacement activity

2009-06-25T14:55:58Z

I'm worried. I shouldn't be, but I am and I can't stop, and so I went into town and bought books. I know! But look, I'm really stressed out. So it's okay. I got this and this and this. The House of Night books are my crack reading fix - they're cheesy nonsense, Zoey is a total Mary-Sue, and I should know better. But I love them anyway. Daniel Water's Generation Dead is one of my favourite books, so I had to snap up Kiss of Life.

I also ordered a copy of Almost Human by Cat Marsters and a book on spontaneous human combustion from Amazon. Now I can worry about having no money because I've spent it all on books instead of worrying about The Other Thing.

My time is worthless

2009-06-24T17:26:26Z

I finished work at 3.30pm today (thank you, God) and was all like "okay, let's cycle home at top speed and BE PRODUCTIVE! YEAH!" Instead I cycled home at a snail's pace, ate the remains of a tub of Phish Food (thank you, Ben and Jerry) and fell asleep in front of Family Guy.

This was not the afternoon I envisioned.

Still, it's the Girton Write-In tonight, so I will be somewhat productive for a few hours. Can't decide whether to work on Silver Kiss or a Sneaky Secret Side Project. Hmm...

I never met a zombie novel I didn't like

2009-06-24T08:08:43Z

Until I met this one. I gave up on Pride and Prejudice and Zombies last night after Lizzie threatened to gut Darcy and choke him with his own bowels one time too many. Look, I'm not squeamish, or prudish, nor do I lack a sense of humour, but this book just hit all the wrong notes for me.

Pride and Prejudice is an awesome book, so I figured adding zombies would make it even more awesome, but actually it made it a lot worse. Not only is not no longer a sweet, sharp, funny comedy of manners, it's also not a good zombie romp. I don't think Grahame-Smith gave a lot of genuine thought as to how a zombie plague would really affect Regency England (the country's overrun with zombies but Mrs Bennet's main concern is still who will marry her daughters? ORLY?), and the zombie portions are often bloodless and without humour. The goriest part of the book (as far as I read) was when Lizzie slaughters three ninjas in Lady Catherine's dojo, and all this scene did was highlight how little attention Grahame-Smith had paid to Lizzie's character in the original. Or any of the characters, in fact. Jane is apparently one of the deadliest zombie killers in the land, but she's still too shy to tell Bingley she loves him. Kitty and Lydia are supposedly equally skilled at killing zombies, but still more interested in balls and soldiers. And Caroline Bingley is more interested in drooling after Darcy than the zombies chomping on her waiting staff at the Netherfield ball, which is just stupid. All the truly funny material is Austen's.

And yeah, you can go on about pastiches and parodies and all that crap. And yeah, the book did hit the NYT bestseller list, so Grahame-Smith clearly knows more than me on how to write a book. I don't care. I've come to the conclusion that Pride and Prejudice is a good enough book on its own that it doesn't need this treatment. And zombies are a funny enough subject matter that they don't need to be crammed into Pride and Prejudice.

I can haz website!

2009-06-22T18:50:25Z

http://www.naomiclark.net/

Oh yeah I do!

It's finally happened

2009-06-22T14:02:05Z

I've finally reached a point in my life where Spontaenous Human Combustion is the answer to my problems.

I knew buying that documentary would pay off!

We were barely seventeen and we were barely dressed

2009-06-21T18:41:31Z

19701 / 60000 words. 33% done!

I did an epic 3600 words today on Silver Kiss, curled up in my parents' conservatory. It was ... um ... my gift to my dad. For Father's Day. He really appreciated my efforts. My arm is killing me now, but I'm too happy with my progress to really care. Stuff is Going Down in the werewolf world. Crazy Stuff. Werewolf Stuff. And Ayla doesn't like it.

I picked up Pride and Prejudice and Zombies at the train station on Friday, and I have to say I'm disappointed so far. Jane Austen's parts are still marvellous, charming, and funny. Seth Grahame-Smith's parts are just ... I don't know. Wrong. I don't know how you can mix zombies with Jane Austen and have it go wrong, because in theory there's nothing bad about it. But they just fall flat. I feel like it wasn't done with any love for the original or real understanding of what makes Pride and Prejudice so great to begin with, but just as a novelty money-spinner.

Anyway. We're back into workshop season at work from tomorrow - three back-to-back workshops, which are just going to wipe everyone out, so I don't expect to be very productive writing-wise, although I shall try and crack something out where I can. And, oooh! Then it will nearly be time for this year's RNA conference. Woo! I'll be going along as a published author this year! ^_^

Moving swiftly along

2009-06-19T12:26:40Z

Things of note:

1. I'm done with the emo thing today. I had some brilliant news yesterday that I will share asap, and that lifted me right out of my "woe is me" mood.

2. I'm off to my parents this weekend for an internet-free few days of hardcore writing on Silver Kiss. I've done a lot this week, had two very productive write-ins, and I'm determined to do a lot more before the week's over.

Which ties into my next point:

3. OMG, I woke up at 4am this morning in agony. FLAMING, SEARING AGONY. I must have fallen asleep on my bad arm. It was cramped, I had the worst pins and needles ever, I couldn't move my fingers, and from my shoulder to my elbow, everything was numb. I had a complete freak-out and leapt out of bed waving my arm around like a maniac to try and get the feeling back. But it kept going numb despite my proactive methods. I spent a good ten minutes just massaging it and stretching and eventually reduced my panic from "OMG, AM I GOING TO HAVE TO AMPUTATE IT?!" to "this is pretty damn uncomfortable."

So yeah, not great. I have overdone it this week and I've been slack at using my voice recognition, because me yelling at my laptop doesn't make for a happy, productive atmosphere for the other writers at the write-ins.

Amazon Ink - Lori Devoti

2009-06-17T19:27:53Z

I literally just finished reading this book and loved it! It's a refreshing spin on urban fantasy, and (yay) the first in a series. Melanippe Saka is an Amazon who's turned her back on the tribe to live a normal life with her daughter, mother, and grandmother. When dead Amazon girls start appearing on the doorstep of Mel's home/tattoo shop, the Amazons come crashing back into her life. Now she's got a bunch of angry warrior women camping in her gym, the police on her tail, and a teenage daughter who's ... well, a teenager.

I think what I liked best about this book was the family aspect. A lot of UF heroines are loners, for whatever reason, but Mel has a tight, if weird, family unit, and her relationship with Harmony, her daughter is great. There is a hint of romance, but it's underplayed in favour of the murder mystery, which works well for me. Romance is great, but too many UF books seem hung up on getting in the complicated love life, and it was nice to read something where the heroine isn't shucking her knickers every five pages. Here, the relationships between Mel and the women in her life - from her daughter to her former best friend Zery - are the most important, not the relationships with the men.

I'll definitely be looking out for the sequel to Amazon Ink, which from the looks of things will focus on Amazon queen, Zery. I hope Devoti does plan to return to Mel if the series continues, because I think there are a lot more stories to tell here.

Vampires Rock!

2009-06-16T18:11:02Z

http://www.cornex.co.uk/ccm/cornex/2009/vampires-rock.en

OMG, does anyone want to come and see this with me? Seriously? I'd love to go!

My werewolves have Issues

2009-06-16T08:19:40Z

13011 / 60000 words. 22% done!

I had a most productive Girton Write-In last night and added a hefty 3k to Silver Kiss. And my arm isn't even too sore this morning, which only adds to my smug sense of satisfaction.

I'm at that stage in the writing process where the more I write, the more I want to write. I've got to grips with most of the world-building - Pack laws and rituals, how the werewolves have integrated with the humans, all the fun stuff. Now it's time to bring on the Issues! Which Ayla has lots of! Apparently I can't write a werewolf story that doesn't have Issues. Lizzie, the heroine from Wild was addicted to heroin and accidentally killed her boyfriend (... but I've said too much ...). Christian, the werewolf in the Scarlett novels, is an irrepresible playboy with too much money and not enough morals.

So far Ayla hasn't taken any drugs, killed any of her loved ones, or slept around yet but hey, it's early days.

ETA: Squid can hear! Just further proof that they will one day be our masters. And I for one welcome our cephalopod overlords.

Though personally I hate whales

2009-06-15T07:43:25Z

So I've recovered enough from watching Mega-Shark v Giant Octopus (except I dreamed about it all last night and haven't stopped thinking about it all morning) and now I've realised that I need to add a new subplot into Death for the Born. This is highly inconvenient given that it's out on submission and I'm still waiting to hear back from two agents with partials.

I guess if everyone rejects it, I can add in the new subplot and start over, but if everyone rejects it, is there any point? And I've learned from the epic mess of an ongoing rewrite that is Wild that adding in new subplots drives me mad. Grr. This is why I need to be working part-time. If I had more writing time, messy rewrites wouldn't annoy me so much because I wouldn't feel like I was cramming everything in around my damnable day job. I'd feel like I was cramming the day job in around my writing. Which would be much nicer.

SHARKS! OCTOPODS! TOGETHER AT LAST!

2009-06-14T20:32:43Z

THIS POST IS TOTALLY WORTHY OF CAPSLOCKS!

Seriously! chaostheory and I just finished watching Mega Shark v Giant Octopus and this is the film I have waited all my life for. Really. Yes, it's crap. The acting is terrible, the effects are awful, and the plot is nonexistant. But who cares? It has a megalodon in it! And it fights ~~Cthulhu~~ a giant octopus! After they've been frozen in ice! Because apparently the Ice Age happened in a split second while they were mid-fight. Just. Like. That.

And the shark eats a plane! A plane! And the Golden Gate Bridge! And, like, a submarine and a couple of war ships. AWESOME!

Equally as hilarious were the trailers for other films from the company: The Terminators and Transmorphers: The Fall of Man. They were both all like, "holy shit, robots! From the future and/or space! What do we do?!"

Ahahahaha, there are no words. No words.

This here's my forest!

2009-06-14T10:15:54Z

I stayed over at Pip's last night for a film-and-junk-food fest. We watched Cloverfield, a film I will never get tired of because there aren't enough monster films being made anymore. We followed it up with Apocalypto, which is the most unremittingly violent film I've ever seen and I summarised it thusly for chaostheory

Jaguar Paw and his friends live in the jungle and have lots of manly hunter fun and love their wives and everyone is happy because Being One with Nature is Good. And then the bad guys came! So Jaguar Paw put his wife and kid in a pit and everyone gets beaten around and raped and killed and taken off to be sacrifices. And there's a psychotic bad guy with an irrational hatred for Jaguar Paw. And then they get to the city which is Evil because it has markets and temples and other Trappings of Civilisation. And some people get horribly sacrificed to appease the gods, and then there's an eclipse so Jaguar Paw runs off into a field of corn, killing someone's kid on the way. The bad guys freak out and chase him into the forest and he jumps off a waterfall and makes a Braveheart style speech about this being his damn forest. And he throws bees and them and shit and then the Spanish arrive.

Then we watched Top Gun because we needed a lot of camp to get over all that manly blood. We flicked back and forth between that and Reign of Fire though, because even with a dodgy bread and ill-advised haircut, Christian Bale is still unmissable.

Ooh, and when chaostheory gets home from work tonight, we have Giant Shark versus Mega Octopus to watch! Huzzahs!

Argh, mateys! Here be a pirate anthology!

2009-06-12T09:39:56Z

http://mindancerpress.wordpress.com/books/skulls-and-crossbones/

I am so writing something for this. Pirates! Come on!