- Mood:
cranky
Seventy-eight years later, Bram Stoker’s Dracula was released, cementing the image of the vampire as a charismatic aristocrat concerned largely with tormenting uptight Victorian virgins. That said, I maintain that the Count presented in Dracula, by and large, bears more resemblance to the average Cro-Magnon man than the average Armani model. Hairy palms, pointy ears, mono brow … yeah. You know.
What Stoker did establish in vampire lore was repressed sexuality – a lot of it. Given the generally repressive nature of Victorian society to begin with, the exploration of this theme in a novel was pretty sensational. The transformation of Lucy, for example, from prim virgin to bridge of Satan disturbed readers across the country:
What has become clearer and clearer, particularly in the fin de siècle years of the twentieth century, is that the novel's power has its source in the sexual implications of the blood exchange between the vampire and his victims...Dracula has embedded in it a very disturbing psychosexual allegory whose meaning I am not sure Stoker entirely understood: that there is a demonic force at work in the world whose intent is to eroticize women. In Dracula we see how that force transforms Lucy Westenra, a beautiful nineteen-year-old virgin, into a shameless slut. (Leonard Wol, 1992).Eroticizing women! The very idea! Hide those ankles, ladies, you may well be encouraging men to see you as sexual objects and we all know how that ends. One minute you’re trying to decide between your three beaus, the next you’re letting some crusty old count sink his fangs into your neck in a decidedly sexualised exchange of bodily fluids.
But whatever, there you have it. Polidori and Stoker took the vampire mythos and changed it. From horrific revenant to upper-class deflowerer in under a century. But it doesn’t stop there, my friends, oh no. next: Anne Rice and her metrosexual vampires stamp themselves firmly over the public consciousness.
- Mood:
nerdy
- Mood:
blah
Chapters revised: 21
Zombie hunts attempted: 1
Zombie hunts successfully completed: 0
Number of times Lizzie has been kicked out of someone's house: 1
Number of times Lizzie has kicked someone out of her house: 1
This Friday is tooth-yanking day, after which I have a week off work to recover from all the trauma. I'm hoping to get loads more done on Wild then. Watch this space...
- Mood: busy
So if you look closely at this somewhat blurred image, I'm pretty sure you'll make out one of the fish babies, either Chad or Tad. (I had to name them. The others all have names.) I've taken the bold step of leaving the fish unsupervised this weekend, since I'm at my parents' and Pip is in London, and I'm hoping both Chad and Tad will still be alive and well when I return. So far nobody's shown any inclination to eat them.
And here we see the furtive-looking parents (or potential parents). I'm pretty sure these two are responsible for the sudden appearence of Chad and Tad, as they spend a lot of time skulking around in the plants, out of sight, probably having deviant fish-sex. It's usually a good idea to have two female platys to every one male, otherwise the male harasses the females to death. If they were people, that kind of behaviour would be unacceptable. But when you're a fish, it's all good apparently.
My other fish are rightly disgusted by the whole sordid affair and refuse to get involved.
- Mood:
chipper - Music:Wu Dist Wu - Rammstien
... Updates and pictures to follow, as I inflict this miracle of nature upon all of you.
- Mood: chipper
Reason for removal of wisdom teeth: Prevent pain, infection to gums.
Possible after-effects of removal: Pain, infection to gums.
Not promising...
On the plus side, I finally figured out what to do with Harris' mistress and it's awesome! And will involve a fight at a funeral, which will be awesome! In a grave, dignified manner, of course.
- Mood: content
So:
Chapters revised: Twelve, if we discount the amount of chapter-splicing I've been doing. Fourteen if we don't.
Number of people Lizzie has hit in the face since I last did this: Three.
Number of people who have hit her back: One.
Levels of ominous foreboding: Through the roof. I'm past the point of foreboding. Now it's just regular boding.
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22,127 / 85,000 (26.0%) |
- Mood: cheerful
Speaking of wolves, the rewrite of Wild continues apace, although I should point out that my word metre lies. The total wordcount right now is 80481k, thanks to all the hacking and slashing I've been doing. But I'm getting to some of the really cool, big plot adjustments, so I'm sure I'll make up for the lost words. It's all tension!action!excitment! right now. Will Lizzie ever dump Harris? Why do strange men keep following her on her manic runs through the city? WIll she ever satisfy her desire for a cheeseburger?
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18,682 / 85,000 (22.0%) |
- Mood:
contemplative
Okay, you're back? You got a copy? Good. Moving on. Yesterday I cut almost a chapter and half out of Wild, which was painful. Hopefully what I replaced it with is good and adds to my "spice up the plot" quota. I'm not sure yet. It's like I'm halfway through conducting a major operation and I've had to stop because I can't remember if I'm taking out the heart or the liver. I do think a lot of what I'm cutting out is unnecessary waffle (or bad cholesterol, if you will), but it's quite scary to think I might be replacing it all with even more unnecessary waffle. Let's look at the evidence:
Chapters rewritten: 10. Technically it's twelve, but I cut one chapter altogether and merged two more into one.
Menacing encounters with werewolves: 3
Number of times Lizzie has resolved to quit drugs/break up with Harris and failed to do so: Countless.
Sinister predictions of Doom from strangers: 2
References to teenagers being killed by clowns: 1
- Mood: chipper
1. We're not going to start rewriting Fire and Moonlight ... yet. That's for after Wild.
2. We're not going to start writing cosy mysteries for Mum ... yet.
3. We're not going to start writing short stories about the trials of being a superhero's secretary ... yet.
4. We're not going to carry on with Death for the Born until after Wild.
5. We're definitely not going to start writing that weird idea with the island and the gods and the girl who can shapeshift. Yet.
Love,
Nome
- Mood:
hot
A quarter of a century old today!
So, anyway, I'm going to be 25 on Tuesday. I feel this is quite a significant age. I'll no longer be in my early twenties, and I can probably no longer avoid calling myself a woman, as opposed to a girl. I can't say I'm particularly happy about my continued aging, but as the alternative is being dead (or preserving my youth through ghoulish HP Lovecraft-style experiments involving ice and so forth), I suppose I shouldn't be too disappointed at it.
The thing is, 25 seems incredibly grown-up to me, and I am by no means grown-up. I own the She-Ra movie, for God's sake. And I still have My Little Ponies, although Pip bought them for me, so that probably is okay. I remember David turning 25, when I was a whimsical 22, and I remember thinking how sussed he was. I'm so not sussed.
So here are some things I'm going to do to bring myself to that level of sussed-ness I feel a 25-year-old should be at:
Discover my body
Exercise is something I tend to do accidentally, if at all, and I would like this to change. I want to have more energy and less fat on my thighs.
Get confident, stupid!
I'm planning to discuss coming off the antidepressants with my doctor. This time I'd like to stay off them. I accept that my depression is biological and will probably come back, but I want to be a position to tackle it next time. I've been reading some books on self-esteem and anxiety and I think it's probably time I put what I've been reading into practice.
Beat the boss
(Not literally. Although sometimes she deserves it.) I don't want to be at the Institute this time next year. I want a job where I care about what I'm doing, and I earn enough money to enjoy myself when I'm not at work. I took this job for all the wrong reasons and I don't plan to do that again.
Eye of the tiger, baby
I'm going to get what I want, dammit, and what I want is to be a published author. I'm going to try to stop beating myself up about my writing/lack of etc... and just freaking write. Talia Gryphon got published, Sunny got published, I can get published.
- Mood: content
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8,391 / 85,000 (9.9%) |
Look at the slow creeping forward of my word meter for Wild! Yes, it is shiny, it does excite. I'm making some rather huge changes to the basic plot and it's a frustratingly slow proceedure to chop out massive chunks of writing and fit in new pieces, and then make sure the new pieces mesh with the original. But I'm getting there. Let's look at the evidence:
Chapters revised: Four.
Drugs used (not by me): Heroin, cocain, morphine (for medicinal purposes), cannabis.
Deaths: One.
Werewolf sightings: Two.
Punch-ups: One.
Instances of eerie foreshadowing: Too numerous to count.
(BTW, Rogue by Rachel Vincent? OMG. Somebody else hurry up and read it so I can talk about it with you.)
- Mood: accomplished
At last! She writes. I set aside all other considerations yesterday evening (The Sims, the giant bag of Doritos in the cupboard, thirst and sleep) and got cracking on the redraft of Wild. Two brand new chapters, including a new opening chapter, in two hours, which makes me feel rather smug. I'm still not convinced the first chapter is quite as awesome as it should be, but I always feel like that. I don't suppose Rachel Vincent would consent to writing an opening line for me? No? No. Never mind.
Anyway, let's do the maths, shall we? It's subject I excel at *cough*. The first draft of Wild was roughly 85k and took about six months to write, given that I had a few periods where I didn't work on it regularly. If I aim to write 2k every day, it will take me ... forty two and a half days to redraft the whole thing. That gives me until sometime in May, I think. I hesitate to set myself solid goals because I procrastinate like crazy, but watch this space anyway...
- Mood: busy
If, like me, you're weirdly charmed by giant squid (and squid in general), then my blog is the place for you. Seriously! This guy was 9m long when he was originally caught! And isn't preserving him like this so much better than pickling him?
Oh, and my quest to be Macbeth took a blow last night when I went out for a three course dinner instead of writing. But I'm not giving up! Tonight will be different. I'm getting back to work on my NaNo project, and saving Wild redrafts for the weekend when I'll have an empty house and therefore nothing to distract me. In theory.
- Mood: busy
This must change!
I want to be Macbeth. He got things done, you know? Okay, they were murderous things, but he did them. Less procrastination, more
So, less of the "currents turn awry, and lose the name of action," more of the "vaulting ambition, which o'erleaps itself." Without all the murder and insanity, obviously.
Okay, enough moping, you guys. I've got a short story out today at Dark Fire Fiction - the feature story, no less. I heartily recommend you go check it out.
I'm putting Dark Eden on hold indefinitely to work on redrafting Wild. Deep down, I really believe I can make Lizzie's story a killer one and so everything else is taking a backseat while I look at the plot and get it up to scratch. I suspect one day I'll go back to Dark Eden, but as part of my new resolution to simplify my life, I'm focusing on one thing at a time for now.
Anyway, why are you still here? Dark Fire Fiction!
- Mood: sick
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
dwg, I read your blog and now I've got "Mama" stuck in my head too! *shakes fist at you*So, I had the Ninja show up at my house last week. This weekend he called and texted me relentlessly, all along the lines of "why aren't you answering my calls/texts etc?" Mostly I wasn't answering because, as usual, my phone was in a separate part of the house to me. But obviously he doesn't know that. Argh. Why did I give him my phone number? (Okay, I know why, it was because I was totally freaked out to find him lurking on the doorstep and I panicked and did it to get him to go). Still, dumbass. When we finally talked, it was like the most awkward thing EVAH and I realised that everything I used to find endearing about him, I now find squeamishly uncomfortable, and I quickly hung up with many a lame excuse. Why can't I ever stand up for myself? Why do I have to be so worried about upsetting other people that I let myself get upset first?
So, the next text I get is "I miss your love," to which I replied (I paraphrase) "it's over, move on." His reply? "Let me give you a clue: anything is better than nothing."
Not for me. I don't want to be someone's last resort for happiness, and I certainly don't want anyone to be mine. I sent him another "Please let it go," message, and received a rather random response to the efffect that he had let go, months before, and it was me who lured him back in at Christmas and made him think there might still be hope.
WTF? The ONLY thing I sent him at Christmas was a message saying "there's no way we're going to get back together" AFTER he'd phoned me and begged me to give things another go. Where's the hope in that?! How have I lured him back in?! Why do I feel guilty over this?!
I haven't heard from him since Sunday, but my parents are freaking out. Dad wants me to change my phone number, he's insisting I get lifts everywhere and don't leave the house after dark, etc... It feels ridiculous. I'm not changing my number; why should I have to? I'm not going to act like a victim because I picked another crazy boy to go out with. This isn't like Richard; I don't feel scared or threatened or anything. But I'm fed up. I always do my best to play fair and be honest with people, and it gets me nowhere.
- Mood: annoyed
Werebats
Lizzie's long-lost father turning up and being a werewolf
Vaughn dying
Cannibals
Necrophilia
A freakshow of some sort featuring werecreatures (actually that might be book three...)
I'm not sure how well any of these things will fit in at the moment... I might hold off until Ricia's finished.
- Mood:
crazy
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